Hello Poly, from an SWM

It’s almost the end of summer and I have really enjoyed the six weeks I was back in Toronto.  As my close friends know, it was a hectic six weeks starting with losing my suitcase (with nearly all my decent clothing and all my hiking stuff) upon arrival back in the city.  At the same time, I moved into a new bachelor less than 1 block from Queen west within 1 block of 5 Roti places – life is good.

There have been a few PolyToronto events: our regular social, a Chat and Learn I was privileged to co-lead, an evening at our private party at the Aqua lounge, and a couple of Walk in the Park events I organised. The idea of the Walk in the Park was to create a situation where members can meet and get to know each other outside of a dating or bar environment.  The first Walk in The Park was at Asbridges Bay and ended at the Beaches Jazz fest. Members liked the idea of the walk ending at an event but by 8:30 a lot of events are well under way. No-one is obliged to attend the event and the walk is free of course so it’s an affordable way to mingle.

I came across a function called TMI night at the Go Lounge. TMI (Too Much Information) happens on the last Tuesday of the month and it’s an opportunity for Queer and Trans to tell their saucy stories.  There is an open mic after the first three speakers. For the walk, we started from the Bloor entrance to High Park, walked down to Lake Ontario, along the boardwalk to Palais Royale and then over the footbridge to Roncevalles. Although there was a thunderstorm and the paths were soaked, a few people still came out.


There was another aspect that inspired me to organize this event.  At PolyCon in Vancouver and in general discussions in the Poly world there is a noticeable gender imbalance of Straight White Males, and I am one of them.  I have four sons and the youngest (30) is gay coming out a long time ago. I got him to come to the walk and to TMI with me. It was my way of showing  him not only do I acknowledge his sexual orientation but I embrace it as being totally okay with him to be who he is. He called me the next morning to say it was the best evening he had ever spent with me.


It’s my personal opinion that to be an SWM and to claim to be poly, we need to work on our openness and our commitment to our movement being inclusive. I think we need to work on bringing a female companion or two to the social events. Being a poly SWM isn’t a passive thing; it’s about going on a journey where friends, family, workmates may frown or shun you. If you think that’s tough then think about those who choose to transgender and what they have to go through to be come who they really are …. So if you want to become more open and inclusive go to the TMI night sometime and don’t be afraid to listen.


much love to all